"Archer" Blood Test Quotes

Archer is in for a huge surprise when his favorite call girl, Trinette, shows up at ISIS with a subpoena in her purse.

"Well, at least I'm not a sex addict! And cue the collective sigh of relief. Oh, shut up.""Yeah, and what do you even do here? Sit on your ass and analyze data? Well I'm a field agent, Isaac Newton. I risk my life, so, yeah, I do deserve the best space in the parking garage. Like it'd kill you to roll 50 feet. Stupid thing's electric.""Cyril's about half a wreck, huh? Yeah. So why do you pick on him? I... Oh, was that not rhetorical?""I'm sorry, I guess I skipped the Emily Post chapter about how to introduce your mother to a hooker!""Why should I care if Archer knocked up some dumb hooker? Because babies are soft-skulled, fat little germ sacks and now we've all been exposed to that one's bacteria.""I seriously don't feel good at all. That's because those ODIN ghouls drained a fifth of your blood. Oh, hey, speaking of fifth... A drink's the last thing you need.""Woodhouse, dear. Yes, mum. I assume you're holding. Holding? Why just this tray of... Don't bullshit me, you old dope fiend!""I know you didn't plan on this baby, but, Sterling, sometimes the unexpected things can turn out to be the most important things in the whole world. Wow! You sound shit-faced.""And if I wanted to sit around all day going nowhere I'd be a teacher!""Ants! All over my body So shut up and help me find the nutmeg and I'll make you some "Malcolm X" tea!""You're such a prick.""If I wanted to sit around all day going nowhere, I'd be a teacher."