"House M.D." Birthmarks Quotes

House tries every delaying tactic available when Wilson forces him to attend his father's funeral. Meanwhile, the team tries to find the cause of a young woman's abdominal pain and hemorrhage that occurred in China.

"House, call your mom. What are you? My mom?""It goes better in a large muscle. Drop your pants. You know, I usually pay tens of dollars to hear that.""You know, you could just wait for the MRI to have your curiosity satisfied. What person who is nothing like me are you saying that to?""That's how we met: I was in jail. This guy was a total stranger to you and you bailed him out? It was a boring convention. I had to have somebody to drink with.""If there's anything I can do, just... You know, you're right. I don't think I can sleep alone tonight.""I'm not deflecting because I'm avoiding something deep. I'm deflecting because I'm avoiding something shallow.""Still not boring.""You "lost track of your speed"? I think that was Hitler's excuse. Lost track of the Jews. No one held him responsible.""If you're coming back just because of the shine of my neediness, I'd be okay with that.""Make it fast; I don't want to miss the anal cavity search.""Let her vomit through the MRI, that's what nurses are for.""Did her drinking cause this? No. Can you tell her it did?""When my father died, I wound up killing a patient and I hated the man. Whatever House says or doesn't say, I'm sure the guy's a mess."